The Person I Marry

For the second year in a row, I went to the AFHE (Arizona Families for Home Education) convention.  Each year, I find treasures.  I'll probably be posting on these treasures for a while.  I am SOOOOOOOOOO excited about each of these treasures and how they are impacting our family.

The first treasure is a book, The Person I Marry, by Gary Bower.  I stumbled on it by accident, just waiting to meet up with my mom who so graciously joined me :)  As I was standing, I noticed a venue of books.  Well, I have a hard time passing by books without at least browsing them.  This was up front with a beautiful picture on the cover.  "A children's book about marriage," I thought.  I honestly didn't think I'd be too impressed.  Well, I was quickly surprised.

The Person I Marry is now part of our daily devotions, that is the first page is all we read during devotions due to time constraints.  My children get excited every time I pull it out.  They are quick to help me read it too :)  The part I like the most is what the mother whispers into her daughter's ear, "It's 'who', not 'what', that makes a great wedding.  The clothing you wear and the flowers you carry don't matter as much as the person you marry."  That is so true.

Growing up, you hear stories about how couples became engaged and how romantic it was.  But you never hear about the time before they meet.  "How many frogs am I to have to kiss until I find my prince charming?" every girl wonders.

I did not want my daughters or my sons to go through the dating scene wondering, "Is this the one?"  Actually, I do not want my children to have to date any frog much less kiss them.  This book discusses what is important in a spouse, what to look for.  Make a list of what REALLY matters.

A couple other books I found helpful while I was looking and/or waiting for my husband to come along were:  I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris

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Below is a short synopsis of how my prince and I finally found each other:

First off, I NEVER wanted to date.  I thought it was stupid, but I knew no other way to find my future husband.  So off I went into the dating arena.  After kissing seven guys, three of whom were boyfriends, I decided to stop dating all together; God was going to have to throw the guy in front of me because I kept picking all the wrong guys.

After five and half or so years of "not" dating, I had enough and went to a beautiful woman of God that I trusted and loved and who also let God show her who her husband was.  I asked her what to do.  She responded with a simple question, "Have you asked God who your husband is?"  Ask the Almighty God who my husband is?!  No.  She instructed me to do so.

Now that is where my love story begins...  A few short weeks later, I was leaving church not thinking of men at all, which was not common for me.  A picture of my husband was shown to me clear as day and the words spoken were, "This is your husband."  Wow!  True story.

My husband and I had our first kiss shortly after that revelation.  (I hadn't kissed anyone in six years and he hadn't kissed anyone since high school.)  I would like to say it was bliss from then on but that would be a lie.  Actually, almost everyone in my life told me to break up with him; he was not good for me; I deserved better.  And almost everyone in his life said the same about me.  We almost broke up with each other I don't know how many times but thankfully we didn't let them sway our choice.  Actually, the sole reason I did not break up with him was because God told me he was my husband.

We married just shy of a year later.  Still, it was ROUGH!  By then, it didn't matter; we were married.  We made a commitment to each other and that was final.  But I tell you what, God knew what he was doing when he put us together.  The hard crazy pain and struggles were jam packed into those first two years of marriage and the year of dating/engagement.  Every year with him is better than the last.  I couldn't have picked a better man for me.  He is truly a blessing.  What a man!

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My list of what I wanted in a man...

1.  He had to love God first and foremost.
2.  He had to love me second ONLY to God.
3.  He had to desire to be a family man.
4.  He had to be a man I wanted to walk beside.
5.  He had to adore me and I him.

As a little girl, I had a LONG list.  Tall, dark, and handsome definitely made the list.  But in college, I narrowed it down to the MUST HAVES which you see above.  It just so happens that I also got tall, dark, and handsome :)

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One other thing.  When I was off to college, my mother told me to pray for my husband even though I didn't know who he was.  Well, I did.  You know what?  It turns out the year I started praying for him was the year he decided to stop dating.  Go figure!

Prayer is powerful!  Start praying for your spouse to be.  Teach your children to pray for their spouses to be.  You start praying for your children's spouses to be.  It works :)

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Really, this is the last thing...

Throughout my twenties, I talked to God a LOT about my husband or lack there of.  Every time I did, I always said one thing:  You said you'd give us the desires of our heart.  I desire to be married and have children.  If this is not what you have planned for me, take this desire away from me.  I would rather be single the rest of my life than married to the wrong man.  (And I meant every word of it.)