Sunday, November 30, 2008

A Bump

I have been waiting for quite some time to feel a kick or a flutter or something. Well, this morning I turned and laid on my back. Something seemed different, so I felt my belly. There was a bump towards the right side. I got so excited, but I waited a few seconds thinking it would disappear soon. It didn't. Then I told Joseph to give me his hand. He was half asleep, so he just raised his hand. I told him again to give me his hand. He put it closer to me. Then finally he lifted his head and I told him to put his hand on my belly. By that time, the bump was REALLY hard to feel. So basically he missed it.

Ok. Now I know there is something inside of me; however, I am still looking forward to the kick. But I'm wondering if Joseph will ever get excited. He doesn't seem to care. I know he cares, but he just doesn't show excitement. He talks to the baby. He even puts his ear up to my belly to see if he hears anything. I'm not sure if he is doing that just for my benefit or if he is really wanting to hear something. In either case, I'm glad he does it. Tomorrow we go for the big ultra sound. We're going to wait on finding out the baby's sex, but we'll still get to see the baby. Maybe that will get him excited even though he's only going because I want him there. Well, I guess we'll see.

Saturday, November 29, 2008


Blogging is definitely harder than I thought it would be. I actually have to think of something interesting to say. Well, hopefully I'll get the hang of it. It does make it easier seeing a friend's blog. She's great at it. Thanks, Carrie : )

Monday, November 24, 2008

Ups and Downs

Well, today I totally broke down, but just for a few minutes. I called my husband at work after I had been dealing with a lot of uncertainties. He was concerned at my phone call and asked if something was wrong. I said, "No, I'm just frustrated." Then I told him that our bills aren't getting paid. After many tears and Joseph weeding through everything I said, he realized I was losing it over $34. He told me that he was going to lunch now and he'd take care of it then. I thanked him and told him I loved him. Then we said goodbye. It's amazing how he can calm my nerves so easily even when he's not physically with me. In any case, I realized within a couple seconds after my phone call that I was completely over reacting and nuts. It's not like me to freak out over little things even a bunch of little things. And I thought the only thing that pregnancy had on me was weight gain. Boy was I wrong : )

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Days Go By

As a child, it seemed we'd never get older. Highschool and College seemed to pass at a decent rate, but you couldn't wait to turn 21. Then the next thing you know you're 30 something and all of your cousins you thought of as soooo young are 20 something. What's worse is all your friends' babies grew up before your eyes. You start thinking about your own children or the ones you are going to have. You want time to slow down. What happened?! How is time so slow as a child and then speeds up as an adult?

I've been told to enjoy every day. It's special. Enjoy being single. There are many things you can do and many worries you don't have as a single person. When you get married without children, enjoy those days. There are many things you won't be able to do and many more worries after you have children. Things aren't better. They're just different.

When I found out I was pregnant, I thought I would have about 9 more months of sleep and no worries. Boy was I wrong. I think your body is trying to get you ready for the sleepless nights to come. And worries.... You've got to be kidding me. Am I eating the right stuff and amount for my baby? Can I lift this without harming my baby? Should I sing to, read to, talk to my baby? What do I need to do to help my baby grow big and strong? Is my baby's heartbeat still beating in there? You get the picture.

I look forward to my baby kicking, so I won't have the worry, "Is my baby's heartbeat still beating?" I keep reminding myself to enjoy this time, but it's hard when the only time you know your baby is still kicking is when you go to your monthly appointment and see or hear the heartbeat. I'm 17 1/2 weeks. People tell me by week 19, I should feel the baby kicking. Right now 1 1/2 weeks seems forever. I feel like a child waiting for Christmas. When I really think about when I saw two lines, I realize it was just yesterday. 12 1/2 weeks passed so quickly. Then I pray for time to slow down.