2. JT Exhausted and cranky (please sleep)
3. Milk supply enlarged - discovered this morning
4. Praying that JT wakes up soon to eat
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Week 5
1. Growth spurt
2. JT Exhausted and cranky (please sleep)
3. Milk supply enlarged - discovered this morning
4. Praying that JT wakes up soon to eat
2. JT Exhausted and cranky (please sleep)
3. Milk supply enlarged - discovered this morning
4. Praying that JT wakes up soon to eat
Friday, May 29, 2009
One Month Old
He's one month old and starting to get into a routine. My little man is growing up. Time sure flys. One month... It was just yesterday that I was having contractions.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
List for Next Delivery at Hospital
Hospital Provided
disposable underware, some pads, gown for mom, pillows, bed, bed and sheets for mom's helper, breast pump, soap, towels, water, drinks, food, baby shirts, receiving blankets, diapers, baby hats, pacifier,
Bring (c-section)
BreastFriend Pillow, bra with holes for breast pump (cut nickel size holes in an old bra), pads, Mam binkie for 0+ months, drop-ins bottle with slow flow nipple, pik, face lotion, lotion, toothbrush, toothpaste, pen, hooter hider, nursing bra, nursing sports bra, camera,
For Departure
maternity pants (nothing that cuts into lower belly) and shirt, briefs, baby outfit, carseat, burp cloth (dish towel/cloth diaper),
disposable underware, some pads, gown for mom, pillows, bed, bed and sheets for mom's helper, breast pump, soap, towels, water, drinks, food, baby shirts, receiving blankets, diapers, baby hats, pacifier,
Bring (c-section)
BreastFriend Pillow, bra with holes for breast pump (cut nickel size holes in an old bra), pads, Mam binkie for 0+ months, drop-ins bottle with slow flow nipple, pik, face lotion, lotion, toothbrush, toothpaste, pen, hooter hider, nursing bra, nursing sports bra, camera,
For Departure
maternity pants (nothing that cuts into lower belly) and shirt, briefs, baby outfit, carseat, burp cloth (dish towel/cloth diaper),
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Visits
Tuesday, JT visited Copperwood. He met many of his mom’s friends/coworkers and her students from this year. They were all delighted to see him. It was a long day, in and out of the car due to many other of mom’s appointments he had to be chauffeured around to. He slept much of the day, so he’ll probably be keeping his mom up much of the night. Something amazing happened today. He slept without being swaddled and not in mom’s arms twice today. His hair also showed its curls after a quick bath. Go curls!!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Week Two and Three
We took a couple days to ourselves. Then Thursday we opened our house to visitors. My mother came over and chauffeured me around to various stores to pick up some still needed baby stuff while Joseph and JT stayed home. Joseph’s mother and oldest sister came to our house and brought us food to last a few days.
Friday, I got a phone call about 9 o’clock, just as I was getting up. It was Joseph’s mom, Barbra. She just wanted to let me know that Tinky was on her way over. Well in about 40 minutes not only did Tinky show up but so did the majority of her household. They came over to clean. I was informed that I was not allowed to do anything except give directions/orders if need be. They cleaned until about 12:30 PM when we had to leave. What a blessing!
JT got circumcised that day. I wanted to watch, but the doctors preferred I not. They didn’t tell me I couldn’t be there, so I kept insisting. They finally agreed. Joseph watched too even though he didn’t want to. The doctor seemed to prefer Joseph be there with me. The surgery was amazing. There were a few steps: two needles for numbing, indentation, separation, tube, overlap, and cut. The doc said it cuts like chicken skin. While she did the surgery, I was in charge of keeping the binky in JT’s mouth. The binky was first dipped in a rock candy like syrup. She said it helps sooth the babies. All went well. The thing JT liked the least was having his legs strapped down.
Saturday, was JT’s first family outing. We went to my cousin Joseph’s going away party. JT was passed from person to person until it was time to go. That night Niki and her boys came to see JT for the first time.
Sunday was Mother’s Day. We went to my mom’s church so she could show off her grandbaby. It was mentioned in the sermon that being a mom was the hardest job. Joseph disagreed. He thinks a person who works on an oil rig has a more difficult job. I couldn’t do anything but laugh. We eventually agreed to disagree. That night we met up with some dance friend’s that were in town and wanted to meet JT.
The three of us stayed at JT’s Grandma and Pop Pop’s house from Sunday through Saturday. It was nice having some help during the day while Joseph was at work. I was able to take a shower every morning. The help in the evening was nice as well. Friday night Grandma and Pop Pop sent Joseph and me away on a date. They really just wanted JT to themselves. During our stay, JT started becoming more visually aware of what was around him. He started following things with his eyes. Thursday, JT, his grandma, fun grandma, and I all went to eat for JT’s first time at a real restaurant. The Matador’s air conditioning was broken, so we ate outside. The lack of AC just made the event more memorable.
Sunday was pretty much a blur as Joseph & my day alone with JT after a week with Mom and Bob. Then Monday comes. Oh my goodness! That was my first day alone with JT. Well, I prepared breakfast, cereal, and lunch, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, while JT screamed. Other than that time and approximately 15 minutes of him sleeping in his bouncer, I was on the couch with him the entire day. He would eat then fall asleep. As soon as I put him down, he would start crying. If I let him cry for about two minutes, he would then begin to scream as if someone was trying to hurt him. And he wouldn’t stop screaming until I fed him again. Once he ate, he’d spit it all back up. I began to worry that he might be sick since he was spitting up so much. I looked on line to find out more about spit up. I had always heard that when a baby is no longer hungry, the baby will stop eating. Not my son! The internet mentioned that spit up is most often due to air bubbles or too much food. Babies’ stomachs are really small and if there is no more room, the food comes back up. I was relieved to read that information. Now I just need to figure out who long to let him cry when he’s not hungry, dirty, or in pain, so he doesn’t get spoiled.
Birth Story continued... "Week One"
Surgery
They brought me into the surgery room and were surprised when I could lift my hips up to move over onto the surgery table. It wasn’t like the epidural was working at 100%. I could still feel the contractions. They were pretty bad the last hour. I’m not sure any of the doctors/nurses believed me because they kept talking to me during the contractions when I stopped everything and focused on breathing. I kept having to ask them to repeat what they said due to me not hearing them. Once I was on the right table they stretched my arms out next to me. I guess they strapped them down, but I didn’t think they did at the time. There was a sheet in between me and my stomach, but I could see over it at a mirror which showed all.
They marked the area to be cut and took sharp pinchers to my belly just to make sure I couldn’t feel anything. By that time the medicine finally had kicked in, thankfully. Next, they cut me, but Joseph still wasn’t there. I was beginning to wonder if he’d ever show up. I guess they kept him outside of the room until after the cut, but I got to see it They took two instruments and spread my belly open and stuck approximately nine towels in my belly. Then they proceeded to get the baby. They pulled out his head. Wow! He did have a full head of hair. That was the last thing I saw. The doctor bent over me to pull out the rest of the baby, so he was in between the mirror and me Thankfully, Joseph took pictures. The doctor pulled the baby out and said, “Do you see what you have?” I said, “No, I can’t see anything ” Next thing I know Joseph exclaims, “He’s well hung!” Then I said, “Oh, it’s a boy.”
The curtain was lifted so I couldn’t see the rest of the procedure I couldn’t see anything for a while. I could, however, hear them counting and recounting. I assumed it was the towels they stuffed in me that they were counting. Then they brought the baby over to me. Ah! He was beautiful. They took a picture then out dad went with the baby. I was informed I wouldn’t be able to see the baby for two hours. Believe it or not, those hours passed quickly. The last thing I remember before they brought my baby to me was them lifting me off the surgery table and onto the rolling table.
Hospital Stay
After two short hours, (I think I fell asleep) they brought my baby to me. The first thing he does is hold up his head. My response is, “You brought me a month old.” He was born 8 lbs 11 oz and was 21 ½ inches long and holding lifting his head. He had to be a month old.
The first night/day, Tuesday night & Wednesday, Betsy stayed with me. She made me sleep and told people to come visit the next day. Joseph took over that Wednesday evening. Thursday, there were many visitors. My mom came to stay with me and JT that afternoon. He did have a slight fever Thursday night; however, that was remedied by only wrapping him in one blanket instead of two. JT had been losing weight but it was still within the parameters the hospital had set. Joseph stayed with us Friday evening. Then my mother returned Saturday, so Joseph could go to his gig.
Saturday afternoon, JT had another fever, was down to 7 lbs 9 oz, and was dehydrated. I had been feeding him on demand, but that wasn’t good enough. JT was soon brought to NICU and I was released from the hospital, but they let me stay in the room (nesting room) through Monday. JT’s fever went down quickly, but his temperature soon dropped below what’s acceptable. He was put under a heating lamp by the next day. He was given an IV of sugar water or something like that soon after going to NICU. That made him full and not desire to breastfeed. They had to keep feeding him, so he was given formula. He got his milk faster and had to latch differently than he did to my breast. Breastfeeding became torture those few days and for a day after we were released. JT was released Monday evening. The nurses and everyone were great. I would have lost it had it not been for the amazing help I had from friends, family, and hospital staff.
Post Partum Depression
The first week after the baby was born was the most difficult for me to handle. I had wanted to have a natural birth without an episiotomy. That was out the window and then breastfeeding seemed to be floating away too. All of that made me think I was a bad mom. I kept telling my husband that. He was so good to me and comforting. Not only were all of my plans messed up but so was my body. The c-section really did a number on my body. I was in pain, but worse than that I was massively bloated from my waist down. My left knee was so bad it looked like a large grapefruit. When I had to take a shower after getting rid of the catheter, I looked in the mirror and began to sob. Joseph quickly came in thinking something horrible had just happened. As I fell into his arms bawling, I said, “My body is so ugly!” He softly laughed and told me I had too high of a standard and that if a bunch of nurses were in here naked I would see that.
The Tuesday after we arrived home from the hospital, I was up before everyone and crying like a little baby. I hated how I felt and what was happening to me, but I didn’t know what to do. My house was in shambles still, my baby had to be watched closely to prevent any further trips to the hospital, my nipples were in pain as was my stomach, and I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. After bawling for quite some time, I told myself to think of just one thing to do, stop there, and do it. I did it. Then I told myself to think of one more thing and do it. I did it. By the time the baby had woken up, I was pretty much myself again. I took everything one step at a time for the next couple days. The depression stayed gone
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Birth Story
Pre hospital
Monday morning, April 27, I woke up with major lower back pain and a little blood flow. This was odd since I hadn’t really had lower back pain my entire pregnancy. Due to the pain, I opted to lay on my back most of the day instead of washing the baby’s clothes. It wasn’t until 3 PM that a fire was lit under my butt to get a move on washing clothes and such. What changed? I began to feel contractions every three minutes. I called my doctor to find out what I should do. The nurse told me to wait until they are five minutes apart and I can’t talk or walk during contractions. I proceeded to call my husband to let him know I was having contractions but I didn’t think the baby would come that night; so he should still plan on going to his client meeting after work. I’d call him if things changed. I was obviously not going to have the baby that night since most first born babies arrive late and this was the first time I had any contractions.
Around 7 PM my contractions were two minutes apart, but I could still talk and walk during them. When I informed my mother of the change, she freaked out. I wasn’t able to calm her nerves even a little bit until I told her I would call the hospital and ask what to do. The nurse at the hospital told me the same thing the other nurse told me except she added one thing. She said, “If someone were to offer you a winning Power Ball ticket and you’d turn it down due to the pain then you should come in.” Joseph arrived home shortly after that phone call. That helped relieve some of my mother’s concerns, just some
Too many of my friends and family went to the hospital only to be turned away, telling them to come another day. I was in no rush to have that happen to me. However, around 11 PM I asked my husband if we could try to sleep in our brand new bed that he just finished putting together. He was completely exhausted from that huge project and quickly agreed. We no less laid down when I informed my husband that sleeping was no longer an option. We needed to start getting ready for the hospital. My bag was packed a few hours ago, but my husband didn’t have his packed. So he proceeded to do that, while I made sure I had all the paperwork I needed. Of course, this was all done in one minute spurts since both of us were focusing on my contractions and pain every other minute.
The Hospital
We arrived at the hospital just after midnight. I really wanted to wait until then, because I told everyone I wasn’t going to have the baby the previous day/night. Walking to the door was a venture in itself. We stopped many times during my contractions. One person saw us and told somebody else to get me a wheel chair; however I made it to the maternity check-in without the wheelchair. They soon brought me into an examination room and hooked me up to monitors to check baby’s heart rate and my blood pressure. Only one person was allowed in the room with me at a time, so my husband, Joseph, and fun mom, Tracey, took turns. Joseph was glad he didn’t have to stay the entire time. All was good until they checked my cervix. With all those contractions, my cervix was still closed! They were about to release me when the baby’s heart rate dropped to 70 or 80. They figured it wouldn’t drop again but weren’t going to chance it, so they admitted me into the hospital.
Labor and Delivery
I chose to walk to the labor and delivery floor. Once there, the contractions became much worse. Joseph was called over to massage my lower back using a little massaging ball I brought us, and Tracey would come and talk to me to try to calm me down and remind me to breathe. This was done every other minute for a minute. Every once in a while, a nurse would come in and check me. Finally around 6 am my cervix had opened up to a one. I was totally effaced but my cervix just wouldn’t follow suit. My doctor, Dr. Allen Sawyer, came in around that time and examined me. He told me that he would like to break my water and have the baby today. I said that I was good with having the baby today. I didn’t like the fact of breaking the water but kept my mouth shut about it. I didn’t want to be having these horrible contractions for days. During his next examination, he broke my water. Now that was an experience. Many people told me it was like warm water flowing, and they were right. The contractions were still intense but my cervix still weren’t working with the rest of my body
Medicine
Dr. Sawyer talked to me about getting an epidural. He wasn’t trying to pressure me but wanted me to think about it since I’d been having contractions for so long and my cervix was still only measuring one centimeter in diameter. He left, and I discussed it with Joseph. Joseph told me he would have already gotten the epidural. I looked at my two helpers. Thank God for them. Joseph was exhausted, falling asleep even during the massages, and Tracey was worn out too. Those two facts and the fact that I had already been having contractions 2-3 minutes apart for about 16 hours straight with my cervix dilating only to a one, I chose to get the epidural. I couldn’t imagine enduring 16 hours for every centimeter. Of course I wasn’t in my right mind. The baby would have come out one way or another within 24 hours of my water breaking. But I didn’t realize that at the time. So I got the epidural which broke my heart. I was consoled by the thought that the stress that my body was undergoing during the contractions and the epidural were probably about the same level of stress to my baby.
At 7 AM I received an epidural. Most of the medicine went to my right side. So they had me laying on my left side for the medicine to drain to that side. Joseph was much happier not having to get up and massage my back every minute. Having the epidural definitely calmed the nerves in the room. Soon after the epidural was given to me, they started giving me Pitocin. That helped my cervix dilate to 3 after a few short hours. During that time my nurse Denise, who was wonderful, switched with Chrissy, who was equally wonderful just in different ways Chrissy’s first duty was to put a catheter in me. I wasn’t told anything about a catheter when they mentioned the epidural, but it made sense. I mean, it’s not like I’d be able to stand up and walk to the bathroom since I wasn’t supposed to feel anything really from the waist down.
Waiting
Chrissy did make me feel better. She told me when she gave birth to her two year old, she went natural until she was eight centimeters. Then she had an epidural. This way she could tell her patients what it was like both ways. If I had gone eight centimeters, I think I would have pushed through and not gotten the epidural. But we’re all different. It turns out there was another mother who came in about the same time as me in the room next door. So Chrissy said we were going to have a race to see who would deliver first. Soon after, the other mother was being prepped for surgery. She was having a c-section, but Chrissy and I decided that didn’t count as a win Chrissy really wanted me to have this baby before her shift ended. But just in case she wasn’t there, she told me to send in a picture of the little one.
Betsy arrived around 1 PM and helped take some of the pressure off my other two amazing helpers She helped me through the contractions I could feel when the epidural was wearing off, which happened quite often. They kept pumping me with more drugs, but to not much avail. Even with laying on my left side, I could still feel a lot of pain on that side. I let Betsy know that I was only allowed to have three people in the delivery room with me and since my mom couldn’t be here due to a viral infection, I wondered if she would like to be there. She quickly agreed.
The Report
About 6 PM my cervix was finally dilated to a 6. Three hours later, it was still a six. During this time Chrissy was replaced with another nurse whose name escapes me. They continued checking me and telling me that they felt the baby’s head who had a lot of hair. I even saw on the monitor that the baby calmed down when the nurse rubbed his head. That was pretty cool. Some time between 6 PM and 8 PM they noticed I had a fever. This concerned them thinking there might be an infection in the placenta. They put me on some antibiotics, I think. But the fever continued.
The nurse came in and told me that the doctor would be coming in shortly to talk to me about a c-section. That one word alone made me burst into tears. I didn’t want a c-section. I had known the epidural was a possibility, but a c-section was even an option to me. She tried to calm me down and said that I could talk to the doctor about it when he arrived but she wanted me to be aware of the upcoming topic. She left with the other doctors/nurses that came in with her. Then I talked to everyone in the room about the possible c-section. They calmed me down and let me know there may be some other options before a c-section is needed. My hopes were raised a bit, but I also knew my doctor. If I want one thing and he doesn’t think it’s a wise choice, he is able to say just the right things to make me change my mind. But at least there were some other people who were behind me on this one.
The Decision
My doctor had arrived. He talked to me about the c-section, but I remained strong and asked if there was anything else that could be done. The response was not what I was looking for, so I asked how long I had before a c-section was absolutely necessary. Again, the response was not favorable. I then burst into tears saying I didn’t want a c-section. I asked him to check me again. He did and nothing had changed. As I was crying, I looked around the room at all the faces and saw the sadness in their eyes. They felt badly that none of this was in my birth plan. I decided right then and there I needed to make everyone laugh. I told them that I was at least getting one thing from my birth plan. My doctor stopped and with concern in his voice asked, “What?” I responded, “I’m not getting an episiotomy.” Laughter was heard around the room. I asked if the three would be able to be there. He said only one could be there. Joseph was ready and willing to pass the torch, but I wasn’t having that. He would be the one in there with me. I braved one more question. With hope in my voice I asked, “May I watch.” Finally, I got a favorable response.
To be continued…
Monday morning, April 27, I woke up with major lower back pain and a little blood flow. This was odd since I hadn’t really had lower back pain my entire pregnancy. Due to the pain, I opted to lay on my back most of the day instead of washing the baby’s clothes. It wasn’t until 3 PM that a fire was lit under my butt to get a move on washing clothes and such. What changed? I began to feel contractions every three minutes. I called my doctor to find out what I should do. The nurse told me to wait until they are five minutes apart and I can’t talk or walk during contractions. I proceeded to call my husband to let him know I was having contractions but I didn’t think the baby would come that night; so he should still plan on going to his client meeting after work. I’d call him if things changed. I was obviously not going to have the baby that night since most first born babies arrive late and this was the first time I had any contractions.
Around 7 PM my contractions were two minutes apart, but I could still talk and walk during them. When I informed my mother of the change, she freaked out. I wasn’t able to calm her nerves even a little bit until I told her I would call the hospital and ask what to do. The nurse at the hospital told me the same thing the other nurse told me except she added one thing. She said, “If someone were to offer you a winning Power Ball ticket and you’d turn it down due to the pain then you should come in.” Joseph arrived home shortly after that phone call. That helped relieve some of my mother’s concerns, just some
Too many of my friends and family went to the hospital only to be turned away, telling them to come another day. I was in no rush to have that happen to me. However, around 11 PM I asked my husband if we could try to sleep in our brand new bed that he just finished putting together. He was completely exhausted from that huge project and quickly agreed. We no less laid down when I informed my husband that sleeping was no longer an option. We needed to start getting ready for the hospital. My bag was packed a few hours ago, but my husband didn’t have his packed. So he proceeded to do that, while I made sure I had all the paperwork I needed. Of course, this was all done in one minute spurts since both of us were focusing on my contractions and pain every other minute.
The Hospital
We arrived at the hospital just after midnight. I really wanted to wait until then, because I told everyone I wasn’t going to have the baby the previous day/night. Walking to the door was a venture in itself. We stopped many times during my contractions. One person saw us and told somebody else to get me a wheel chair; however I made it to the maternity check-in without the wheelchair. They soon brought me into an examination room and hooked me up to monitors to check baby’s heart rate and my blood pressure. Only one person was allowed in the room with me at a time, so my husband, Joseph, and fun mom, Tracey, took turns. Joseph was glad he didn’t have to stay the entire time. All was good until they checked my cervix. With all those contractions, my cervix was still closed! They were about to release me when the baby’s heart rate dropped to 70 or 80. They figured it wouldn’t drop again but weren’t going to chance it, so they admitted me into the hospital.
Labor and Delivery
I chose to walk to the labor and delivery floor. Once there, the contractions became much worse. Joseph was called over to massage my lower back using a little massaging ball I brought us, and Tracey would come and talk to me to try to calm me down and remind me to breathe. This was done every other minute for a minute. Every once in a while, a nurse would come in and check me. Finally around 6 am my cervix had opened up to a one. I was totally effaced but my cervix just wouldn’t follow suit. My doctor, Dr. Allen Sawyer, came in around that time and examined me. He told me that he would like to break my water and have the baby today. I said that I was good with having the baby today. I didn’t like the fact of breaking the water but kept my mouth shut about it. I didn’t want to be having these horrible contractions for days. During his next examination, he broke my water. Now that was an experience. Many people told me it was like warm water flowing, and they were right. The contractions were still intense but my cervix still weren’t working with the rest of my body
Medicine
Dr. Sawyer talked to me about getting an epidural. He wasn’t trying to pressure me but wanted me to think about it since I’d been having contractions for so long and my cervix was still only measuring one centimeter in diameter. He left, and I discussed it with Joseph. Joseph told me he would have already gotten the epidural. I looked at my two helpers. Thank God for them. Joseph was exhausted, falling asleep even during the massages, and Tracey was worn out too. Those two facts and the fact that I had already been having contractions 2-3 minutes apart for about 16 hours straight with my cervix dilating only to a one, I chose to get the epidural. I couldn’t imagine enduring 16 hours for every centimeter. Of course I wasn’t in my right mind. The baby would have come out one way or another within 24 hours of my water breaking. But I didn’t realize that at the time. So I got the epidural which broke my heart. I was consoled by the thought that the stress that my body was undergoing during the contractions and the epidural were probably about the same level of stress to my baby.
At 7 AM I received an epidural. Most of the medicine went to my right side. So they had me laying on my left side for the medicine to drain to that side. Joseph was much happier not having to get up and massage my back every minute. Having the epidural definitely calmed the nerves in the room. Soon after the epidural was given to me, they started giving me Pitocin. That helped my cervix dilate to 3 after a few short hours. During that time my nurse Denise, who was wonderful, switched with Chrissy, who was equally wonderful just in different ways Chrissy’s first duty was to put a catheter in me. I wasn’t told anything about a catheter when they mentioned the epidural, but it made sense. I mean, it’s not like I’d be able to stand up and walk to the bathroom since I wasn’t supposed to feel anything really from the waist down.
Waiting
Chrissy did make me feel better. She told me when she gave birth to her two year old, she went natural until she was eight centimeters. Then she had an epidural. This way she could tell her patients what it was like both ways. If I had gone eight centimeters, I think I would have pushed through and not gotten the epidural. But we’re all different. It turns out there was another mother who came in about the same time as me in the room next door. So Chrissy said we were going to have a race to see who would deliver first. Soon after, the other mother was being prepped for surgery. She was having a c-section, but Chrissy and I decided that didn’t count as a win Chrissy really wanted me to have this baby before her shift ended. But just in case she wasn’t there, she told me to send in a picture of the little one.
Betsy arrived around 1 PM and helped take some of the pressure off my other two amazing helpers She helped me through the contractions I could feel when the epidural was wearing off, which happened quite often. They kept pumping me with more drugs, but to not much avail. Even with laying on my left side, I could still feel a lot of pain on that side. I let Betsy know that I was only allowed to have three people in the delivery room with me and since my mom couldn’t be here due to a viral infection, I wondered if she would like to be there. She quickly agreed.
The Report
About 6 PM my cervix was finally dilated to a 6. Three hours later, it was still a six. During this time Chrissy was replaced with another nurse whose name escapes me. They continued checking me and telling me that they felt the baby’s head who had a lot of hair. I even saw on the monitor that the baby calmed down when the nurse rubbed his head. That was pretty cool. Some time between 6 PM and 8 PM they noticed I had a fever. This concerned them thinking there might be an infection in the placenta. They put me on some antibiotics, I think. But the fever continued.
The nurse came in and told me that the doctor would be coming in shortly to talk to me about a c-section. That one word alone made me burst into tears. I didn’t want a c-section. I had known the epidural was a possibility, but a c-section was even an option to me. She tried to calm me down and said that I could talk to the doctor about it when he arrived but she wanted me to be aware of the upcoming topic. She left with the other doctors/nurses that came in with her. Then I talked to everyone in the room about the possible c-section. They calmed me down and let me know there may be some other options before a c-section is needed. My hopes were raised a bit, but I also knew my doctor. If I want one thing and he doesn’t think it’s a wise choice, he is able to say just the right things to make me change my mind. But at least there were some other people who were behind me on this one.
The Decision
My doctor had arrived. He talked to me about the c-section, but I remained strong and asked if there was anything else that could be done. The response was not what I was looking for, so I asked how long I had before a c-section was absolutely necessary. Again, the response was not favorable. I then burst into tears saying I didn’t want a c-section. I asked him to check me again. He did and nothing had changed. As I was crying, I looked around the room at all the faces and saw the sadness in their eyes. They felt badly that none of this was in my birth plan. I decided right then and there I needed to make everyone laugh. I told them that I was at least getting one thing from my birth plan. My doctor stopped and with concern in his voice asked, “What?” I responded, “I’m not getting an episiotomy.” Laughter was heard around the room. I asked if the three would be able to be there. He said only one could be there. Joseph was ready and willing to pass the torch, but I wasn’t having that. He would be the one in there with me. I braved one more question. With hope in my voice I asked, “May I watch.” Finally, I got a favorable response.
To be continued…
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